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2 Ohio families who lost children to suicide share their story, advocate for breaking mental health stigma

In November 2023, the CDC released a report that the United States set a record for the number of suicide deaths with nearly 50,000 people dying by suicide in 2022.

OHIO, USA — On Jan. 25, Governor Mike DeWine announced the 2024-2026 Suicide Prevention Plan for the state, “reinforcing a commitment to eliminating obstacles for families and individuals grappling with suicide,” he said.

The day before the announcement, Ohio lawmakers in the Senate voted 24-8 to override the governor’s veto of House Bill 68 which banned, among other things, gender-affirming health care for transgender youth.

The House also voted to override the governor’s veto weeks earlier by a vote of 65-28.

The vote was not a surprise to those with transgender children, but it’s the outcome of the vote they feared the most.

“I definitely think the impact of HB 68 will result in more suicide attempts and more suicides,” says Sam Shim of Worthington, the parent of a transgender 16-year-old.

Shim said his child, who was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, has already attempted suicide once before.

“When you get that phone call saying your son had an attempt, it is one of the worst calls you could ever get,” he says.

Governor DeWine echoed the same concerns. 

“The heartbreak of losing a family member to suicide is a pain that cuts deep, leaving behind a void that words can't fully capture," said DeWine in a January press release.

According to the Ohio Department of Health, there were 1,766 suicides in Ohio in 2021, an increase of 8% from the previous year. That number is below the 10-year high in the state of 1,836 deaths in 2018. 

RELATED: 5 people die by suicide every day in Ohio. Officials laid out a plan to reduce that number each year

In November 2023, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a report that the United States set a record for the number of suicide deaths with nearly 50,000 people dying by suicide in 2022. The national report indicated that middle-aged adults account for the most suicides, while suicide numbers in pre-teens and teens had decreased.

According to the Ohio Department of Health, five Ohioans die by suicide every day. Ohio youth between the ages of 10-24 years old dies by suicide every 34 hours.

Youth suicide in our state jumped 5% for those ages 10-24 in the years 2020-2021.

During that same time, adult suicide jumped 13%.

Gallia County had the highest rate of suicide in the state with a rate of 28 per 100,000 people, according to state statistics.

In order to understand the complex nature of mental illness and suicide, two families agreed to talk to 10TV about losing a child to suicide.

They wanted to share their stories to help expose the problem, but also break the stigma surrounding mental illness with the hope that other families will learn to recognize the warning signs and get their children the help they need sooner than later.

“She was very vocal to me that she did not want to harm herself,” said Stacy Hubbard of Logan County.

Stacey's daughter, 17-year-old Courtney, lost her life to suicide in 2020.

“She gave away all of her sunshine and didn’t keep enough for herself, that was the kind of person she was,” she said.

Vanessa and John Martin lost their daughter Gabrielle in 2018.

“She was my best friend,” said Vanessa.

Both girls were active in school, were involved in drama and music and had many friends.

Both parents said the signs of mental illness in their daughters began in their teens but for different reasons.

In Gabrielle's case, her parents said it began when their daughter started taking accelerated classes in school.

“That’s when everything started to crash. She couldn’t keep up," Vanessa said.

Their daughter was later diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD.

Looking back, John said the signs of mental illness were subtle at first.

“If she were asked to buy a soda pop from a vendor stand, she just couldn't do it. She would spend a ton of time in the bath, a ton of time in the shower and what you write off as a kid wasting water, that was her safe place,” he said.

“We saw signs when she was 13 and when she was 16, she had her first hospitalization,” said Vanessa.

For Stacy, her daughter’s mental health struggles began in her early childhood when she was 8 years old.

She said Courtney watched her grandfather drown in Indian Lake as he was attempting to get Courtney onto a boat.

“Even up to the week of her passing, she would say it was her fault Grandpa died," Stacey said.

She said doctors warned her to be on the lookout for symptoms as her daughter got older.

“They told me once she starts hitting her teen years and she starts to process in her brain what happened, she is going to have issues; she's going to relive everything,” she said.

Courtney was later diagnosed with PTSD, major depression and anxiety.

Despite their diagnoses, both girls remained active in school whether it was drama or in music, in part because of their parents' active role in their health care.

But over time, despite constant meetings with doctors and medication changes to help them, the mental illness their children were struggling with seemed to be winning.

“Through her junior year, I noticed she dropped out of jazz band, she had just dropped out of the musical prior to this, so I was kind of on alert,” said Stacy.

She said the day her daughter took her life, she dropped Courtney off at school and she seemed happy.

“I said 'have a good day, let me know if you need anything.' She said I love you and off to school she went. She ended up going into our backyard and hanging herself. My oldest son came home and found her,” she said.

In Gabrielle’s case, she was living at home and her mom had hidden her car keys. Gabrielle found the spare keys and took her car for a drive.

“She drove her car into a bridge pillar,” said Vanessa.

Gabrielle, her father said, was not on her medication at the time. He said that’s one of the hardest things about dealing with young adults with mental illness.

“She felt like the medication stunted her personality They feel like they are less of a person, or they are broken because they are taking medication for a mental illness,” he said.

It’s that stigma these parents want to break.

They want kids and adults to know that it’s OK to not be OK, and that sadness is a normal human emotion.

Hopelessness can lead to hope they say. “That kid,” these parents say, needs to know they are supported both inside the family and out.

“There's a lot of 'that' kid out there and we need to make sure that everybody knows that's OK,” said Vanessa.

As much as both parents tried to help their children deal with their mental illness, they said Ohio’s mental health system needs work.

“If we had gotten into psychiatrists earlier, I wonder would we have had the issues?” questioned Stacy.

Then there are issues with finding the right medications and the side effects that go with it.

“It took two and a half years from the onset of her going on medication to the point where we exhausted the counselor part and had to get into meds to increase her base dose,” Stacey said.

And then there are issues with insurance.

In Gabrielle’s case, her mother said days before her daughter died by suicide, her doctor requested an extended stay in the hospital.

“The doctor wanted her to stay but insurance denied her extension. We're trying to keep her alive. We don't have the energy to fight an insurance company or a hospital,” said Vanessa.

Ohio is spending tens of millions of dollars to address mental health in the state.

Last month,  DeWine along with Ohio State University launched a $20 million study to try to identify the root causes of emotional distress, suicide and drug overdoses in Ohio.

Two years ago, the state launched #988 — a suicide hotline that allows people to call or text for help. The phone line went nationwide this year.

There are now 19 call centers across Ohio with 400 trained personnel to answer those calls. The state has set aside nearly $47 million to support it for the next two years. But there is no permanent funding. The state reports 12,000 calls to 988 per month.

LeAnne Cornyn leads the Ohio Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services.

“Right now, a little over a third of Ohioans are aware of the 988-crisis lifeline,” she said.

She said 988 works, but what needs to change is for people not to feel ashamed to call.

“It’s not bad to ask for help, it’s not something to be afraid of,” she said.

When asked about her comments about the state denying gender-affirming care to trans youth, which some believe will increase suicide attempts, something her office is tasked to reduce she said, “We're agnostic. We want to ensure that all Ohioans of all walks of life have access to the services that they need.” 

If you or someone you know needs resources for mental health, the Ohio Department of Mental Health and Addiction recommends the following:

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